Miley Cyrus Is GashingLashing Out

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Miley Cyrus has given us every opportunity in the last month for us to practice for her breast and OB/GYN exam, and you’ll never guess the reason why. Or you will, because daddy issues are God’s precious gift. Hollywood Life reports:

Miley Cyrus has been in the spotlight for so long that, even at 17, she is far too savvy to be accidentally flashing her side-boob cleavage to photographers. And why would she “forget” to wear a bra, going out in a T-shirt with her nipples clearly visible to the paparazzi and the world? She’s done both in the past month, and it’s no accident according to psychotherapist Dr. Gilda Carle. No, it’s no accident that this bizarre behavior has occurred while her parents — Billy Ray and Tish Cyrus — have been preoccupied as they prepare to divorce. Miley may be a celebrity, but she’s no different than any other child whose parents are divorcing. No kid, even a 17-year-old, wants her parents to split up or have her family fractured. Children, including Miley, want a secure world. They want to be with both parents who they love and they want their parents to be together. She is trying subconsciously to force her parents to come together. According to psychotherapist Dr. Gilda Carle, “Miley knows what is appropriate and inappropriate. Exposing herself is an act of defiance. She’s acting out — acting like a bad girl, so sexualized, because she wants to force her parents to jump back in and act like her parents again and stop her. Children of divorce, like Miley, often take it upon themselves to try and maneuver their parents back together and that’s exactly what Miley’s trying to do by publicly acting out.”

Demi Lovato is clearly the Secretariat of the Disney Whore Triple Crown, but Miley Cyrus is slowly gaining momentum. She’s 17, says her vagina can’t tamed, and every picture she’s taken in the last month it’s like she’s trying to hand out the pussy like government cheese. My penis just breakdanced then pointed at Miley. Or any other thing that means you just accepted a challenge.

I really think it’s just a matter of time: