Emma Watson Can Borrow My Wand
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Besides my obvious sexual innuendo at the top of this post, you will also notice that Emma Watson attended the London premiere of Harry Potter and the Deathly Hallows Part 1 and restored my faith that chicks with short hair can be hot. She still kinda looks like Peter Pan, but my penis made a good point with the whole “a way more accommodating vagina” thing. I would thank him, but he just retired to the study to read Wilde while I type this. Because he’s so long, you see.