Rachel Weisz Is Single

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Director Darren Aronofsky and Rachel Weisz have split after nine years. Nine years. In Hollywood. Can somebody get these two silver plates, please? TMZ reports:

Aronofsky — who directed “The Wrestler,” “Requiem for a Dream” and “Pi” — and Weisz — who starred in “The Mummy,” “The Constant Gardner” and “The Fountain” — were together for nine years. They never married. Reps for the former couple tell TMZ, “Rachel Weisz and Darren Aronofsky have been separated for some months. They remain close friends and are committed to raising their son together in NYC.” Sources tell us the couple will seek joint custody of their 4-year-old Henry Chance.

I’ve always thought Rachel Weisz was hot, but she’s never been on the site because she was all boring and content in her committed happiness. So hopefully that will change now since she’s 40 and a single mom who just got out of a failed relationship. I assume her self-esteem is at the point where I might have a chance. That is, of course, unless I can’t scoop her up before Amon Goeth makes her his maid. Oh, that Amon! Always up to no good!