Everybody Wants Lindsay In Jail

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Lindsay Lohan has been in rehab five times, and each time it has been a ploy to make the presiding judge think she has realized the error of her ways and is ready to hold hands and skip down the road to recovery. Then the judge lets her off , then of course, she does more blow. After yet another stint in rehab for testing positive for cocaine in her FIRST random drug test, Lindsay Lohan is due in court today. Will this cycle be broken? Oh, fuck yes. TMZ reports:

Lindsay Lohan’s voluntary stay at the Betty Ford Center isn’t impressing everybody — TMZ has learned the L.A. County Probation Dept. still wants LiLo to serve at least 30 days behind bars for her failed drug test. Law enforcement sources tell TMZ the Probation Dept does not want Judge Elden Fox to cut LiLo a break during her probation violation hearing today … and will recommend that she serve at least 30 days in jail for testing positive for cocaine after she left her court-ordered rehab stint at UCLA. The Probation Dept. carries some pretty powerful influence — but in the end, the decision will be up to Judge Fox. The hearing is set to begin today at 8:30 AM PST — and we’ll be streaming the whole thing live.

Just so we’re clear, the L.A. County Probation Department wants Lindsay Lohan in jail, but they are deferring to Judge Elden Fox. I hope Lindsay has YouTubed “how to make a shank out of a toothbrush”, because deferring to Judge Fox about how fast somebody should be locked up is like deferring to Batman about which bones to break. Don’t be surprised if your femur is used for a kickstand at some point.