Taylor Swift Has Replaced Lindsay

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Since Lindsay Lohan would rather do lines than practice lines, she has been replaced in a movie. A movie that was specifically written for her. IMDB reports:

Lindsay Lohan’s legal woes appear to have given Taylor Swift her big movie break – the country sweetheart is the new favourite to replace the Mean Girls actress in a new film about a former child star finding success on a reality TV dating show. Writer/producer Richard O’Sullivan initially offered Lohan the lead in his new film One Night With You after writing it with her in mind. He told WENN, “It is ready-made for Lindsay… but we’re proceeding with extreme caution while the Lohan family sorts through their issues during a very trying time.” Lohan has since served two stints in jail – the latest a 10-hour stay on Friday – and spent time in a court-ordered lockdown rehab. And now it looks as if producers have moved on from the troubled star. A source says, “It appears the romantic comedy may finally be off the table for Lindsay Lohan. The producers had actually talked to Taylor Swift’s agent a few months back about replacing Lindsay, but Taylor was in the middle of her tour. “Now that Lindsay can’t conquer her troubles, they’re taking the offer back to Taylor.” It’s the second major role Lohan has lost this year – in April, she was dropped from new movie The Other Side.

Taylor Swift always looks like she’s staring into the sun and her body looks like something you’d find in a bunker a year after a nuclear war, but for some reason I’d split her anus like an atom. She looks pure and untouched. Much like the box of condoms I bought eight months ago. Why won’t anyone love me?!