Lindsay Has A Warrant

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A bench warrant has been issued for Lindsay Lohan today after she violated the terms of her probation by failing two random drug tests. Per the terms of that probation, she automatically has to serve 60 days in jail. But it’s L.A., so who’s to say? Because per the terms of Los Angeles Sheriffs, a 60 day sentence will get turned into a 60 minute ferry ride to an aquarium. The Aquarium has something for everyone, and features sharks, alligators, and river otters as well as programming that includes dive shows, live animal encounters and feeding programs.Be sure to include a visit to the Aquarium for a fun, exciting, and educational experience! TMZ reports:

Lindsay Lohan’s probation has been revoked and a bench warrant issued for her arrest … TMZ has learned. Although the bench warrant was issued, it’s being held — i.e., on hold — until Friday at 8:30 AM, when Lindsay is ordered to appear in court. The move by Judge Elden Fox comes after TMZ’s story … that Lindsay failed two drug tests recently … one showed the presence of cocaine and another showed amphetamines. The probation report — outlining the failed tests — was just filed with the court.

Whatever. Until Lindsay is caught on live television doing blow out of a dead baby’s fontanelle that she ran over to get to the bar before last call, she will continue to be coddled and not expected to take responsibility for her actions in any way. If Hannibal Lecter was tried in L.A., he would have been sentenced to dinner for two at BOA Steakhouse.