In Other Useless Cokewhore News…

Remember a few weeks ago when Paris Hilton was arrested for cocaine possession? We were all able to breathe easy knowing our beloved was innocent because the purse from whence it came did not belong to her. She wouldn’t have lied to save her ass would she? Apparently she would. According to E! Online:

The recently busted heiress has accepted a plea deal, agreeing to cop to misdemeanor drug possession and obstructing an officer in order to avoid a felony cocaine rap… Hilton will enter her guilty plea Monday and be sentenced to a year of probation, Clark County District Attorney David Roger said Friday. The plea agreement also entails that she complete a drug abuse program, pay a $2,000 fine and serve 200 hours of community service. In return, two consecutive six-month sentences in the Clark County Detention Center will be suspended… FYI, the obstruction charge was recently tacked on, added because authorities determined that Hilton was lying when she told officers her bag belonged to someone else. “In truth, the Defendant purchased the Chanel handbag months earlier,” the complaint states.

Paris Hilton realizes she could sell heroin to school children and all she would get is stern talking-to, so it’s no wonder she’s always so chipper. I guess money really can buy happiness. It can also buy pretty so why don’t we get on that next, k Paris?