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Aside from Spencer forgetting to unpack his SuperSoaker, the biggest news today is that Lindsay Lohan will be making an appearance at the VMAs tonight. This is proof that my vision board is manifesting into reality, so now I’ll just wait for Paul Rudd to pull my brand new Maserati into the driveway because obviously I’ve mastered The Secret. Seriously though, Chelsea Handler is hosting and that is one funny bitch. Her Lohan jokes alone will almost make it worth allowing MTV’s self-indulgent circle jerk to take up space on my DVR.

In case you were wondering (and I know you were), the banner pic is Lindsay going to a meeting with her probation officer on Friday. She’s gotten back in touch with her ginger roots, and is looking quite lovely might I add. I hear homeless chic is all the rage for fall.

Did someone say Paul Rudd?