Hi, I’m Megan Fox. I Say Dumb Shit.

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Long story short, nobody cares. May rape fantasy says in Elle:

When I talk about my husband [Brian Austin Green], I feel as if people roll their eyes. It’s like when you’re 16 and order a martini, and the waiter says, ‘Do you think I’m stupid?’ They can’t grasp that I’m old enough to be married.”

We don’t roll our eyes because you’re married, we roll our eyes because you’re married to Brian Austin Greene. That’s like saying you’re excited to get a Suzuki Sidekick or star in that new TV show Wings. Or putting a Walkman on your Christmas list. Or any more things that I can think of that were only popular in the ’90s.

Note: I would still shoot a civilization on that stomach.