Jessica Simpson Sounds Familiar

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When you’re a desperate, clingy mess who starts picking out flower arrangements for the imaginary wedding reception in your head every time a man makes eye contact with you, you tend to post stuff like this on Twitter. Hey, look! It’s Jessica Simpson.

“I met a wonderful man. Damn I’m lucky!”

When Jessica dated Tony Romo, she called him FBD (Future Baby Daddy) and fully expected for Romo to propose on her birthday. He dumped her a day before. John Mayer called her “sexual napalm” and loved fucking her so much he dumped her for Cameron Diaz. Then she stalked him. Then she went to a Vanity Fair party and creeped out Leonardo DiCaprio by following him around all night. So, please keep in mind that Jessica Simpson has only been dating Eric Johnson for barely three months. Two months after he filed for divorce from his wife. I’m sure it’s going to work out because every man wants to jump directly into a long-term serious relationship as soon as he gets a divorce. I guess what I’m trying to say is, what is she lucky in? Blackjack? Laser Tag? I don’t get it.