Jennifer Aniston Is A Huge Star

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Jennifer Aniston‘s new movie The Switch came out last week, and you’re not gonna believe this, but studios would be better off dumping money into a volcano than hiring Jennifer Aniston. Entertainment Weekly reports:

Despite the star power of Jennifer Aniston, The Switch bowed in eighth place. This romantic comedy didn’t receive as wide of a release as her movies usually get and earned only $8.1 million. Audiences weren’t in love with the flick either, scoring it with a middling B, according to CinemaScore.

Man, I wonder what went wrong?

Us Weekly‘s Thelma Adams wasn’t a fan of the film, either: giving it two stars out of four, Adams says that the actress “treads on all-too-familiar ground; there isn’t an exasperated hair flip we haven’t already seen 100 times.”

Is there any reason why Jennifer Aniston is in movies? She’s only in Hollywood because Brad Pitt stuck his penis in her, and every movie she carries needs a government bailout. You could film a puppy getting tortured for two hours and it would make more money than a Jennifer Aniston movie.