Carrie Underwood Is An Awesome Wife

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On July 10, Carrie Underwood married Ottawa Senators centre Mike Fisher in a private ceremony in Greensboro, Georgia. Before the wedding, Underwood stated publicly that she and Fisher would be moving to Ottawa and that she couldn’t wait to build their dream house there. Emphasis on “before the wedding”. The Enquirer reports:

“Carrie and Mike are experiencing a post-wedding comedown,” an insider told The ENQUIRER. “Reality is starting to set in, and it isn’t pretty. Mike is demanding that Carrie make good on her promise to move to Ottawa, Canada, where he’s based with his hockey team. But now Carrie is backtracking and refusing to leave her adopted hometown of Nashville.”

I don’t think “backtracking” might be the best word. How about “selfish” and “psychotic”? Yeah, that works.

Mike was going over renovation details for the 5,000-square-foot house he’s building in West Carleton, Ottawa,” the insider divulged. “He was talking about building a nursery when Carrie flew off the handle. She told Mike it was pointless to build space for a baby because she has no intention of living there. “Carrie claimed she hadn’t thought the living plan through when she committed earlier. She told Mike that she’s most comfortable recording and writing in Nashville, and that her touring commitments make Nashville a more logical home base. “Mike feels duped and raged that Carrie misled him. When Carrie said her mind was made up, Mike fired back, ‘I’ll be living in Canada, whether you’re there or not!'” “The conversation turned into a screaming match, and ended with Carrie in tears after locking herself in the bathroom.”

It’s a bit of a well-kept secret that Carrie Underwood is a raging cunt in real life, so this makes sense. But it’s probably just some kind of misunderstanding. Maybe somebody just pointed out to her that her name is Carrie Fisher.