“Being Famous For Gaining 10lbs Is Ridiculous!”

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Looks like someone got another visit from the Delusional Fairy. Contact Music reports:

She said: “I have a white girl booty. I don’t have a big butt. I’d rather have a happy medium and take some off my chest and put it towards my butt so I could balance out a bit.” The 30-year-old blonde beauty also admitted she can’t understand why her changing weight attracts so much attention. She told Closer magazine: “People talked about my weight for an entire year. Being famous for gaining 10lbs is ridiculous! I didn’t feel as fat as everybody was making me out to be. “Even the president felt he had to make a comment – although I think he was caught off guard as the picture was thrown in front of his face!” Jessica – who is also a businesswoman with clothing, make-up and fragrance lines – also revealed her latest boyfriend, NFL star Eric Johnson, has helped boost her self-confidence. She added: “I’m more confident than I’ve ever been in my life. I’m much more at peace with myself and whatever life brings my way.”

I don’t think 10lbs has changed recently, but unless she’s doing some kind of new math, this is what she looked like last January. And as far as white girl booty goes, let’s be clear, she has white girl booty if that white girl has been recently bitten in the ass by a shark. The only way her ass could be more flat is if it was a seat in business class. My ex Michelle 5’3″, 120lbs., and her ass is literally half her body weight, so let’s not blame being white. Let’s blame your bottomless pit for need and insecurity. We can blame white people for cardigans and smallpox.