Jenny McCarthy Should Probably Stop Now

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When she’s not claiming to have cured a neural development disorder and not taking responsibility for increased cases of measles and whooping cough in American children, Jenny McCarthy used her non-existent medical degree and went to the Midsummer Night’s Dream party in Vegas this weekend. I remember a time when I would have shot an austistic kid to bang Jenny McCarthy, but then again, I was blowing in my Nintendo cartridges at the same time. I’m not saying she’s starting to look old (the body is sick), but if your face looks like something somebody in The Joker’s gang would wear to rob a bank, your tits might need to be a little bigger than this. And be able to accurately predict powerball numbers. And have wi-fi. And maybe a continental breakfast. And other things I can’t think of right now.