It’s Everybody Else’s Fault

Dina Lohan, the enabling cunt who should have her uterus ripped out, sat down for an interview with Today’s Matt Lauer, and proceeded to blame everyone and anyone for Lindsay’s problems. I bet you didn’t see that coming.

An argumentative Dina Lohan – placing the blame on the judge no longer on the case and staunchly defending the behavior of her daughter Lindsay Lohan – appeared on Friday’s Today show, declaring there was nothing wrong with her child. “I’m not condoning drinking and driving, but she’s still paying the price for what she did in 2007,” said an often-agitated Dina, 47, referring to Lindsay’s two DUI cases from three years ago. As for Lindsay, 24, today, “She’s changed,” says her mother. “She’s grown up considerably.” Repeatedly accusing Judge Marsha Revel of “going overboard” and “playing hardball” by ordering Lindsay to jail for 90 days (she served 13) and into rehab, Dina said that information will be coming out next week showing that the jurist had to remove herself from the case before she was about to be fired. Defending Lindsay, who was at the Cannes Film Festival when she was expected in court in Los Angeles for a progress review, Dina said, “She was in [jail] for just missing a couple of classes and was working at the time.” In addition, Dina noted, by Lindsay’s being behind bars, “She missed driving classes.” The actress also came into personal contact with murderers, said her mother, adding, “She made friends with them.” Pressed about her daughter’s problems, Dina said, “That’s all propaganda,” and called tabloid coverage of Lindsay “pre-orchestrated. You’re reading things that are not based on fact.” Unlike Julia Roberts and other stars, said Dina, Lindsay’s behavior is unfairly scrutinized. “Her life is magnified. Her life is under a microscope … Lindsay doesn’t realize a lot of people are watching her.” Asked if she’s been there for her daughter – after a visibly frustrated Lauer first suggested that Dina, ex-husband Michael Lohan and Lindsay’s friends “have done nothing to help Lindsay” – Dina said that part of a parent’s responsibility is to grant a child her freedom.

I would never condone violence against women in any way (unless you paid up front), but I could accidentally run over Dina Lohan with my truck and I would jump out and high-five people to make it seem I did it on purpose.