It All Makes Sense Now

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In a interview with Vanity, Lady Gaga gives insight into her brilliance. Us Magazine reports:

The 24-year-old singer (real name: Stefani Germanotta) reveals she’s “terrified of heroin” but still does “mostly cocaine.” “I won’t lie; it’s occasional,” she says in the magazine’s September issue. “And when I say occasional, I mean maybe a couple of times a year.” She tells the magazine she doesn’t condone drug use in any way. “I do not want my fans to ever emulate that or be that way,” says the singer. “I don’t want my fans to think they have to be that way to be great. It’s in the past. It was a low point, and it led to disaster.”

I always wondered how this idiot could make such shitty music and prance around thinking she’s Michelangelo with a Casio, but now we know. It’s cocaine. Cocaine is only good if you want to talk yourself into fighting a firetruck or jumping off a building, it has no creative uses whatsoever, so of course Lady Gaga uses it. And please, “twice a year”? Uh, is it marked on her calendar? Does she send out cards? If somebody could roll this bitch a blunt then force her to listen to her CDs, I’d appreciate it. She wouldn’t make it halfway through before she made herself some poison mac-n-cheese.

Note: In case you didn’t already know, IDLYITW has a new writer who’ll be updating the site on the weekends. Her name is Molly. Despite claims from delusional, paranoid psychos with too much time on their hands, I am not Molly. With that being said, visit the site on the weekends! It’s like The Situation Room if The Situation Room was a male strip club popular with women dating illegal Mexicans. Kick ass!