Lindsay’s Daily Jail Schedule

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L.A.’s Century Regional Detention Facility, the one hissing and bursting into flames at the sight of the sun before noon would be Lindsay. Star Magazine reports:

5 a.m.: Lindsay’s in for a rude awakening! Every morning she will be roused from her sleep by a P.A. announcement before guards shout commands like “Line up for chow! Make your bed! Tuck your shirts in!”

6 a.m.: Time to eat! Lindsay will have 20 minutes to scarf down a quick breakfast like bread and butter or cereal with milk.

9:15 a.m.: The star can see her lawyers any day, starting in the morning.

10:30 a.m.: Lunch usually means something simple, like a peanut butter and jelly sandwich and a piece of fruit.

2:30 p.m.: During free time, if Lindsay wants some exercise or sun, she may get an hour outside — surrounded by cement walls and barbed wire, of course.

5:30 p.m.: Dinner time! No more pricey sushi for the actress. She can now look forward to dishes like spaghetti with meat sauce, followed by something sweet, like Jell-O, for dessert.

6:30 p.m.: She can visit with approved loved ones on Saturdays and Sundays only.

9 p.m.: Lights out!

Does this make anyone else squeal in delight? I haven’t been this happy since my Rainbow Brite backpack came in the mail. It’s both a toy and a backpack! Rainbow Brite’s back zips open to carry your items and features two rainbow straps to wear on your back! Plus, she’s an adorable plush doll!