Lindsay Will Be Out In Two Weeks

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Dear California, fuck you.

Lindsay Lohan is actually handling jail well, sources at Lynwood tell TMZ. We’re told she’s “polite, compliant and responsive.” She’s not crying and is handling it well. And there’s good news for the newly-minted jailbird. A Sheriff’s official tells us she will probably be released around August 1, after serving only 13 or 14 days. A lot better — for her — than 23 days behind bars and, even worse, without cigarettes.

Of course. It’s California, what do you honestly expect? The judge looked like the Berries and Cream lad, and to reiterate, it’s California. Why would you ever be asked to be held responsible for your actions? I could drive through L.A. with the skins of dead children as seat covers and only be sentenced to having $50 deducted from my Starbucks gift card.