Oh Dear God No
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America has Lindsay Lohan, Paris Hilton, Britney Spears, and Lady Gaga. England has Kelly Brook, Rosie Jones, Keeley Hazell, and Cheryl Cole. If those two sentences don’t make you want to shoot yourself in the stomach then jump into a lion cage enough already, then please realize that Cheryl Cole might die of malaria soon. Daily Star reports:
The star is being treated for falciparum, which expert David Mabey called “the kind that can kill you”. Mr Mabey, from the London School of Hygiene and Tropical Medicine, added: “Other forms are milder.” Cheryl contracted the disease on a trip to Tanzania with dance hunk Derek Hough, 25. She has pulled out of filming this weekend’s X Factor audition in Manchester. Worried show boss Simon Cowell, 50, said: “We’re all thinking of Cheryl but she shouldn’t come back until she’s well enough. The important thing is to take care of her health and strength.”
My penis isn’t really capable of flying at half mast, but if it could, today might be the day. Look at the banner pic. Now look two posts down. One has an infectious viral disease, and the other more than likely fell asleep last night without taking her butt plug out. I don’t know how angry this makes you, but the only thing keeping me from ripping my shirt off like The Hulk is the manicure I got yesterday. I find that paraffin wax allows for deeper absorption of emollients and essential oils.