Dina Lohan Is In Denial, Lindsay Is A Drug Addict

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Even God has been checking his watch the last three years wondering when the hell Lindsay Lohan would finally be held accountable for her actions, and yesterday it finally happened. It could have been way worse, but according to Dina Lohan, Lindsay apparently just had a number burned on her arm.

Dina Lohan watched in disbelief as her daughter Lindsay was sentenced Tuesday to 90 days in jail for violating terms of probation over a three-year-old drug case. “This is so not fair to do this to my child,” a flabbergasted Dina Lohan told PopEater exclusively shortly after Judge Marsha Revel made the announcement.

Enabling cunts aside, one of the terms of Lindsay’s probation is that she is not allowed to take drugs. Someone should tell her dentist. TMZ reports:

According to sources familiar with Lindsay’s most recent probation report, LiLo has a prescription for Dilaudid — an extremely powerful painkiller … often compared to morphine … and even heroin. As long as she has the prescription, Lohan is in the clear to pop the painkiller — presuming she follows the dosage guidelines. We’re told a doctor wrote the prescription after Lindsay’s recent dental surgery. We do not know the quantity the doctor prescribed. But as we first reported, that’s not all she’s allowed to have in her medicine cabinet — Lindsay also has prescriptions for two other drugs — Ambien and Adderall.

First of all, if any of you feel even slightly sorry for Lindsay Lohan. Fuck yourself. Seriously. Shit in your hand, fuck yourself, then jump into a nuclear reactor. She’s a narcissistic sociopath who has pissed and snorted away every single chance she has ever been given and repeatedly laughed in the face of the law. She should be licking the judge’s ass for not burying her under the jail. Secondly, did Lindsay’s dental insurance only cover going back in time to a Civil War field hospital? Is this the only dentists in her network? I broke my collarbone and all they gave me was a Midol. The only reason you need to be prescribed Dilaudid is if you get attacked by a werewolf.

Note: Oh by the way, if you’re wondering if Lindsay took court seriously yesterday or thought for one minute that she’d do anything but walk out of the courtroom with another slap on the wrist, check out her nails in this picture. You’ll be glad you did.

Oh boo hoo: