God Bless Kelly Brook

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I wondered why bluebirds dressed me this morning and why I was able to slide down a rainbow to my truck from my balcony to the parking garage, but now I know why. Kelly Brook is still in Barbados. Can’t we just go ahead and put her on the dollar bill already? Why do we need George Washington anyway? “George Washington doesn’t have big tits,” a person from 1781 was quoted as saying. “He doesn’t have big tits at all.”