Angelina Jolie Is Cleopatra

Angelina to play a mistress who every guy in the world would bone? What incredible casting! USA Today reports:

Was Cleopatra really a beauty? Most of us probably picture Elizabeth Taylor at her most voluptuous. In her forthcoming biography of the Queen of the Nile, Cleopatra: A Life (Little, Brown, November), author Stacy Schiff points out that “we have little idea of what she actually looked like.” And if Cleopatra were to be cast today? Angelina Jolie would be our choice. At a lunch this week in Manhattan to promote the book, Schiff and Little, Brown publisher Michael Pietsch said film producer Scott Rudin has bought the rights to Schiff’s book, envisioning Jolie in the role. (Rudin’s office confirms that the project “is being developed for and with Jolie.”) Schiff says Jolie fills the bill. “Physically, she’s the perfect look,” she says. Brad Pitt is a no-brainer for Mark Antony. Julius Caesar? That one had Schiff temporarily stumped.

Angelina Jolie has no problems making out with her actual brother, so if I was the guy playing Ptolemy XIII, they could pay me in magic beans and Chuck E. Cheese tokens. And if I was playing Caesar, I would pay them. Or sacrifice a small Haitian boy. It’s Angelina Jolie, man. She could play Spongebob or a mountain goat and they could still air it on Max After Dark.