Lindsay’s Bracelet Flashes, Too

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On May 24th, Lindsay Lohan was ordered to wear a SCRAM bracelet because she’s a drunk who can’t control herself when she sees a cooler or a bar. On Monday morning, Lindsay was at Katy Perry’s MTV Movie Awards after-party and her SCRAM bracelet went off. But she’s in California, so you know, no big deal.

The star was partying at Katy Perry’s MTV Movie Awards after-party at Las Palmas around 1 a.m. Monday morning, June 7, when, “all of a sudden, her SCRAM ankle bracelet started flashing furiously — bright red, fast flashes — right through her boot!” an eyewitness tells Star. “I couldn’t hear anything, like if there was an alarm that went off as well, but you could definitely see the flashes. “She wasn’t drinking or doing drugs that I saw,” the party-goer added, explaining that LiLo didn’t seem bothered by the blinking light. “She didn’t seem phased whatsoever. I mean it was very obvious. But she was just hanging out, standing right in front of me, acting like it was totally fine.” The flashing could simply be “a technical issue,” specifically that her bracelet could have been “interacting with the modem, transferring data, and not necessarily related to an alcohol level,” Dr. Michael Hlastala, a California medical and DUI expert, tells Star.

Man, that’s a pretty reasonable explanation. It’s Lindsay, so it must be a technical issue, not because she was at a party at 1:00am surrounded by alcohol. Another explanation might the bitch was drunk. If nobody cares why is she wearing this thing in the first place? The California justice system should just go ahead and give a T-Rex a fork and Superman a machine gun, so they can fully ride the wave of handing out things that will never be fucking used.