Maybe Get Him A Hat?

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Okay look, I’m usually not one to make fun of somebody’s kid, you know except if they’re retarded or can’t throw a baseball, but I guess Kourtney Kardashian should have thought about that before she posted this on her blog asking “Where Does Mason Get His Looks?” Um, I don’t know, Oscar the Grouch if he was a sleeper cell? This kid can’t even pee standing up and he has thicker eyebrows than my grandpa. Was he bitten by the beast recently? Is he part werewolf? If I was on a plane next to this kid, I wouldn’t know if I should melt my silver watch or discreetly signal to a U.S. Marshal.