Katy Perry Was The Clear Winner

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The MTV Movie Awards were last night, and everybody else should have turned around and went home, because of, well, Katy Perry. She can’t sing, her music sucks, her right eye could use an eye patch, she’s insufferably annoying and pretentious, and she wears more makeup than Darkman, but her tits are like pillows of God’s love. I swear, she could hit me with her car and I would still try to give her a massage to calm her nerves.