Kristen Stewart Is An Idiot

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Kristen Stewart, hero to high school marching band clarinet players and enemy of desperate cougars everywhere, should really smoke some more weed before interviews. NDTV reports:

Twilight star Kristen Stewart hates being pursued by paparazzi so much that she has compared the experience to being “raped”. “It’s so… The photos are so.. I feel like I’m looking at someone being raped. A lot of the time I can’t handle it. I never expected that this would be my life,” said Stewart. “What you don’t see are the cameras shoved in my face and the bizarre intrusive questions being asked, or the people falling over themselves, screaming and taunting to get a reaction. All you see is an actor or a celebrity lit up but a flash,” she added.

Maybe it’s because I’m such a fancy gentleman, but I think there’s a slight difference between having your picture taken and being raped. And by “slight difference” I mean shut the fuck up dumbass. In you weren’t famous, your picture wouldn’t be good for a K-Mart Portrait Studio, so if you could stop posing for a picture that nobody is taking, that would be great. And if you hate being famous so much, quit. You traced a turtle and mailed it back in to get whatever acting workshop certificate you have hanging on your wall. Basically what I’m saying is they could make Bella a wooden indian or a pelican in a top hat and nobody would know the difference.