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Salma Hayek brought her legendary rack to Cannes and I’ve wanted to fuck her for so long, she could be fused to airplane wreckage and I’d still look for a pulse and a condom.

Note: There was nothing as close to absolute perfection than Salma here. If every woman on Earth woke up one day and looked like this, men’s new hobbies would be putting the toilet seat down, drawing rose-petaled baths, hearing about your day, and buying you flowers and performing oral sex to say thank you making him watch P.S. I Love You.