No Lapdance?

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For the purposes of this post, let’s assume that the guy sitting next to Miley Cyrus is gay. Because, really, who are we kidding? So I’m a little disappointed that he didn’t get a lapdance. Especially since Miley seems to be wearing her goin’ to town dress. She’s an awkward fingerbang in an inner tube away from being my 8th grade girlfriend.