Lindsay Isn’t Gonna Like This

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The voices in Lindsay Lohan’s head have always told her that she’s the second coming of Marilyn Monroe. She has a dumb Monroe quote tattooed on her wrist, she tried to cast herself in a remake of Some Like It Hot, and she even got naked to show people the resemblance that wasn’t there. Long story short, Naomi Watts has been cast as Marilyn Monroe in the upcoming Marilyn biopic, Blonde. Daily Mail

The red painted pout, bleached blonde waves and come hither eyes are all there. But there’s one thing Naomi Watts lacks when it comes to impersonating Marilyn Monroe – her curves. The 41-year-old is set to play Marilyn in a new film about her life, titled simply Blonde. Naomi, a mother-of-two, dressed in a white pleated blouse with a plunging neckline as she impersonated Marilyn. The movie is based on the ‘imagined memoir’ of the same name by bestselling U.S. author Joyce Carol Oates. Filming begins in January, it was announced yesterday at the Cannes Festival. Blonde caused a sensation when it was published in 2000, as it featured detailed sex scenes, including an encounter with a casting director. Another scene saw Marilyn performing a sexual act on ‘the president’ – President John F Kennedy – while he spoke on the phone to Fidel Castro. The film will trace Marilyn’s journey from the child Norma Jeane to the worldwide sex symbol, and her tragic death aged 36 in 1962.

A wooden Indian in a blonde wig looks more like Marilyn Monroe than Naomi Watts does, but at least she’s better than Lindsay. There’s only two I can think of who would make a better Marilyn, but one has to be dug up and sent to acting classes, and the other one needs emergency surgery to correct whatever is going on with her cup size. Somebody mentioned Christina Hendricks, but I don’t think Some Like It Hot was about pizza.