God Should Autograph That

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Science apparently discovered how to fuse denim to your body, because Jessica Biel walked around in New York yesterday with her perfect ass squeezed into the tightest jeans I have ever seen. I’m thinking about buying my penis a miner’s hat, because I’m not even halfway joking when I say I would dig between those back pockets like her held precious diamonds. Then I would cum really fast, you see.