A-Rod Needs A Friend

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Alex Rodriguez needs to pay somebody to remind him he’s Alex Rodriguez, because he’s now dating Cameron Diaz. New York Post reports:

Alex Rodriguez and Cameron Diaz have had a series of secret dates following their flirtation at the Creative Artists Agency Super Bowl party in February. The couple secretly saw each other in Florida while A-Rod was at spring training, according to Life & Style. “A-Rod’s with Cameron. They’ve been keeping it quiet, but they’re totally together,” a source told the weekly.

This dude is the highest paid player in MLB history and plays for one of the most storied franchises to have ever existed, and the best piece of celebrity ass he’s had is Kate Hudson. A thirty-year old single mom. What the fuck is this guy doing? If I was Alex Rodriguez, my morning would start by tripping over Kelly Brook and Blake Lively on my way to the bathroom after I wake up on top of two 19-year old twins who are late for a meeting with Elite.

: I need Desmond to be my constant to figure out the logic behind the email I just got calling me a hypocrite by comparing this post with the Elin one, so let me clear this up. When you’re married, you fuck your wife. When you’re not married, you fuck everyone else. I hope that helps.