Jessica Simpson Is Different

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In her seemingly never-ending quest to be found by the police a week after she dies miserable and alone by choking on a Hot Pocket while surrounded by pictures of John Mayer and Nick Lachey with the eyes cut out, Jessica Simpson has cut off all of her hair and posted the pics on Twitter. Or she has on a wig. I guess I could find out exactly what she did, but I’m going to the pool, so you can see how I don’t give a shit.