Insecurity Is Profitable

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Heidi Montag got ten plastic surgeries in one day, which I can only assume she did so she could unveil her kick ass body at Liquid in Vegas this weekend. The discernible eye will notice that I left out “face”, because it’s hard to imagine that the same doctor did everything from the neck down. Because everything from the neck down is almost perfect and everything from the neck up looks like Michael J. Fox was filling in. And he was wearing those big foam “We’re #1” hands. Basically what I’m saying is that she’s unattractive. Christ, do I have to spell everything out for you people?!