Jessica Simpson Is Disgusting

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I was was going to skip this story, but I literally got 28 emails asking me to post on it, and when I woke up the morning, I got 10 more asking me why I haven’t posted it yet, so here it is. Now BACK OFF, MAN!! Us Magazine reports:

Wonder how Jessica Simpson maintains her million-dollar smile? So does she. “I don’t brush my teeth,” she told iheartradio Thursday. “No, really!” “I just use Listerine — and sometimes I’ll use my sweater,” she claimed, bursting into laughter. “I do brush every now and again, but my teeth are extremely powerful. Fine, maybe when I’m 60 I’ll all, “ow!”

Jessica Simpson can’t keep a man longer than a TV timeout, so gaining 100 pounds and admitting that you have permanent cock breath might not be the best way to get a boyfriend. Especially when you then proceed to admit you use your sweater to brush you teeth. Is that where where most of the barbecue sauce lands? I…I don’t get it.