Angelina Has Had Sex With Pretty Much Everyone

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I mean, we already knew that, right? The Daily Mail reports:

Mick Jagger had an affair with Angelina Jolie whilst he was still married to Jerry Hall, a new book has sensationally claimed.It is alleged the pair first had a brief fling after she starred in the video for the Rolling Stones’ 1997 song Anybody Seen My Baby?, while she was still married to British actor Jonny Lee Miller. And it is claimed they enjoyed a second affair six years later in 2003, while the womanising rocker was with his latest lover L’Wren Scott. On this occasion it is claimed the two were seen going back to Jagger’s room at the Oriental hotel in Bangkok, Thailand. The allegations come in a new book called Brad Pitt And Angelina Jolie: The True Story, written by US biographer Jenny Paul. She has spent six years researching the material and her sources are said to include Jolie’s close friend Texas Terri and an ex-boyfriend of her mother, Bill Day. In a string of other allegations, Paul also claims that Angelina was sleeping with Hollywood star Ralph Fiennes and ex-husband Miller when she met Brad Pitt in 2004. She also says that Jolie was dating Irish actor Colin Farrell, 33, for four months after meeting him on the set of 2004 film, Alexander. The new book also outlines an account of how Angelina Jolie and her current partner Brad Pitt got together. When they first met, he was still married to Friends star Jennifer Aniston. ‘Brad told Angelina just weeks into filming Mr & Mrs Smith that his marriage to Jen was over in every way apart from on paper and had been for more than a year,’ says Paul.

I ‘ve had a chair and a whip for a while now, because it should be obvious at this point that Angelina’s vagina is roaming Hollywood like a roaring lion seeking to devour every relationship that stands in the way of the cock. That’s why I really hope all my scripts sell soon, because in my meeting with Angelina there’s a good chance I’m tying a steak to my balls.