Charlize Theron Is Single

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After dating for over nine years, Charlize Theron has ended her relationship with actor(?) Stuart Townsend. Speculation is rampant, but most agree that the reason for the break up is that she realized she was dating Stuart Townsend. Daily Mail reports:

The stunning 5ft 11in South African has told close friends that she decided to split from the Irish actor following a Christmas trip to Mexico and has since stopped wearing the antique ‘commitment ring’ that Townsend gave her as a symbol of their relationship. A friend of the actress said last night: ‘Stuart is gutted but Charlize said that she realised during the Mexican holiday that the relationship was over. ‘They had become more like brother and sister than lovers. It was she who ended it.’ While Ms Theron can command more than £8million a movie, 27-year-old Townsend’s career has been less successful. Even amid his relationship break-up he left the cast of Kenneth Branagh’s blockbuster Thor because of so-called ‘creative differences’. It was his second big-budget movie setback, after being dumped from the career-defining role of Aragorn in the Lord Of The Rings trilogy in favour of Viggo Mortensen. ‘Charlize has remained in their main home in the Hollywood Hills, which is in her name, and he’s moved all his stuff into their Malibu beach home that they own together,’ the source said. ‘They are sorting out their finances at the moment, as they have been together for so long that many of their financial affairs are intertwined. ‘Charlize has never made a big deal of it, but the truth of the matter is that she has been the major breadwinner. She truly loved Stuart but the relationship ran its course. He is heartbroken but she is insisting it is all over.’ To underline the point, the 34-year-old has ditched the Victorian ring depicting forget-me-nots that Townsend had given her. She previously described it as ‘very, very precious’, adding: ‘Stuart gave it to me as a sign of our commitment to each other. I never take it off.’

I barely know who Stuart Townsend is, and that’s after he’s been balls deep in one of the most beautiful women in Hollywood for nine years. You’d think that having “cumming inside Charlize Theron” on your resume under the special skill section, would at least give you a part in a major Hollywood movie. I mean, I only had to go down on Laura Linney to get this job. It can’t be that hard.