I Need This Job

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While Haiti is regrowing it’s economy by becoming the world’s chief exporter of Soylent Green, I am hopeful that American will rebound and start creating jobs for the more than 30 million Americans who watch TV all day. I already have three jobs, so I’m good, but if Miranda Kerr is hiring somebody to pull her bikini out of her ass, I’d be more than happy to apply. Patron shots aren’t gonna pay for themselves you know.