Keeley Hazell Is Helpful

[Gallery not found]

Keeley Hazell is in next month’s issue of ZOO in her version of a Snuggie, and I’m not advocating every woman gets breast implants, and although that’s not true, but if you could make an appointment for a consultation and take this picture (NSFW) with you, that would be fantastic. I don’t want to scare you, but I’m running for President in 2012 and all women below a C-cup are going to be locked in a detainment camp until the prison colony on Mars is built. Because, really, nobody wants to see that.