Jennifer Aniston Has a Plan

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It would normally take a visit to an alternate reality or a producer’s family being taken hostage for a major entertainment news show to remove their tongue from a celebrity’s ass, but this video is all you need to know about Jennifer Aniston. Every movie she carries herself bombs like a car in Iraq and she’s only considered a superstar, because for a period of time, her vagina was used to keep Brad Pitt’s penis warm. She can’t act, she’s a smug, entitled bitch in interviews, and she just bought an island where she plans to hunt homeless Haitian children for sport. Promising them food, shelter, and love, they soon become her prey in a vicious and twisted game of survival. How much longer can we allow this tragedy?! How long will you sit back and do nothing?! Text a picture of your boobs to Todd’s phone and together we can st…wait, a minute…I’m not doing this right am I?