Jennifer Lopez Is Delusional

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I don’t know what the terror alert level should be raised to in cases like this, but somebody should probably look that up, because Jennifer Lopez just threatened to stay in show business until she’s 71. reports:

I’ll be doing some form of this when I’m 71. This is what I do. What, because I have kids and a husband I’m not supposed to be me? I’m hyper J.Lo. Everything I wanted before, I want twice as much now. Not material things – but to explore and think more. Being an artist doesn’t start because you’re 21 and it doesn’t end because you’re 51. You are who you are until the day you die. You need that time to grow,” she told US Elle. “You can’t be, ‘Oh, I’m out of the public, I’m going to have to make a comeback’.” The dancer-turned-singerturned-actress added: “My manager swears I should direct. I’m like, ‘I’m not ready. Maybe when I’m 71.’

And if by “some form” she means standing on a forklift and holding a megaphone in the middle of South Bronx counting down so the giant jalapeno can drop to welcome in 2031, then okay. But directing movies? No so much. Especially when your whole career is based on a gigantic ass and blowing Diddy to get a record deal. A clubbed seal has a better chance to direct a movie than Jennifer Lopez.

My penis would allow me to download and edit one Jennifer Lopez picture, so here’s Jamie Gunns in lingerie. I apologize for him. He has exacting tastes and only accepts the finest cuts of vagina.