I know I posted some of these pictures of Ashley Greene with only bodypaint covering her hot naked ass in an ad for SoBe yesterday, but my penis sent me an angry text message from the next room and told me it might be a good idea if I posted them all today. He really wants to have sex with her, but he just gets so shy. I tell him that chicks like confidence, but he’s just so unsure of himself. Why just last night when I was going to sleep, he could barely touch the ceiling. He blames himself, and I just don’t know what to say to him anymore. No one is gonna love him until he first learns to love himself.
Arm yourself with the best jokes for your large foreheaded frenemies.
