Something Gaga Is Getting Me Hot

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You might have a hard time believing this, but I get a lot of hate mail. Lately it’s been from insane Lady Gaga fans (sorry about the redundancy) trying to convince me that she’s hot. They believe that because in everyone of her songs she sings about how every guy wants to fuck her, so it must be true. Except no, no it’s not. So if you turned off Ryan Seacrest or stopped drawing butterfly clips on the unicorn’s hair in the margin of your Lady Gaga scrapbook to read this, please don’t blame me for her(?) being ugly. Blame God. Oh, and her dentist. Oh, and that escaped Bengal tiger from the zoo who attacked her tits. What an asshole that guy is.

Btw, no matter how hard you are right now, you can’t possibly be as hard as Lady Gaga is HERE. That guy can barely even believe it!