Michael Lohan Is A Criminal Mastermind

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Michael Lohan has been releasing phone calls like AT&T wireless lately, trying to cash in on his family’s drama to whoever will pay him. Good thing he planned it like Dexter, because according to 2005 protective order, he isn’t allowed to contact Dina Lohan until 2011. Guess who’s on the tapes? TMZ reports:

Michael Lohan could wind up behind bars for his despicable decision to release secret recordings of his family’s phone conversations — because it appears MiLo wasn’t legally allowed to be on the calls in the first place…Now, the release of the tapes, one of which was reportedly made in 2008, could be a smoking gun, proving Michael broke the rules of the protective order — and, if convicted, it could score Michael some quality time in prison. TMZ has learned attorneys for Dina Lohan have already contacted the Nassau County District Attorney in connection with the audio tapes. Unfortunately for Lindsay — who was granted a one-year protective order against Michael back in 2004 — there are no laws against being an insensitive, fame-hungry, backstabbing father.

Christ, is everybody in this family a complete retard? They should seriously hold a parade or erect a statue for the first Lohan who can order at a drive-thru or figures out what do to at an Easter Egg hunt.