Miranda Kerr Needs A Hug, My Number

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Miranda Kerr attended the Hug Award Gala in NYC, and I have no idea what that is, but if she’s giving out mouth hugs, then maybe I should look it up. You know, for charity. That’s really what I’m about. Giving back to the community and to those less fortunate. But most importantly, blowjobs.

By the way, who is this blonde chick(?) and why would she want to pose with a Victoria’s Secret model? I don’t know how much she spent on that dress and her hair, but she knows it was never going to be enough, right? Miranda Kerr could have a wooden leg and tentacles for hands and still be the hottest thing in these pictures.

NOTE: My man Paul Heyman over at Heyman Hustle has has some exclusives of Miranda Kerr here. They make my penis cry.