It’s About Damn Time

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Either his family got freed from their captors or Josh Duhamel finally realized he was married to the banner picture, because it’s being reported that he’s been cheating on her. When asked for comment on what it’s been like to have been married to Fergie for 10 month his penis said,”AAAAAAHHHHHHHH!!!” National Enquirer says:

In a blockbuster exclusive interview, the red-hot exotic dancer provided all the details of her marathon sex session with the handsome actor she said is “the best lover” she ever had. Josh tied the knot with the 34-year-old Black Eyed Peas singer this past January. But stripper Nicole Forrester – who passed a lie detector test and whose story was confirmed by independent sources – told The ENQUIRER that marriage to super sexy Fergie didn’t stop the actor from hooking up with her. Josh, 36, first met the dancer in early October at Atlanta’s totally nude club Tattletales Lounge, where she performs under the name “Delilah.” The actor was in Georgia filming the romantic comedy Life As We Know It. Days after they met, Josh, who starred on NBC’s “Las Vegas” for five years, invited the blue-eyed beauty back to his $820-a-night hotel room at the St. Regis hotel – touching off an X-rated tryst that lasted until morning.

For his sake, let’s hope this is true, because Josh Duhamel is hotter than most of the chicks I’ve dated and Fergie looks like something a Rabbi animated from clay. I’m not even halfway joking when I say I’d rather stick my dick in a mouse trap.

Note: Of course his publicist is denying it. That’s what publicists do.