Jennifer Aniston Is A Big Star

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Since people would rather pay to see a donkey kick a field goal than pay to see a Jennifer Aniston movie, Jennifer Aniston is reportedly close to signing a deal to host a talk show on Oprah Winfrey’s new network OWN. National Enquirer reports:

According to reports Jen will host a new talk show on Oprah Winfrey’s new network OWN when THAT finally launches sometime next year. As THE ENQUIRER reported previously Oprah’s top execs had jumped ship sometime back and the start date of the new net pushed back repeatedly. According to UK tab London Express the Friends beauty is enthralled with the idea and salary is not a factor as she gets major residuals from the long running Friends and makes an estimated $5-7 million for rom-com movie. “She is doing this for one reason only; she absolutely wants to do it,” a source “close to the deal” divulged.

This might be the greatest Jennifer Aniston post of all time, but that’s really beside the point, because this talk show is gonna be a huge success. Aniston comes off equal parts catty, entitled, and hapless victim in every thing she appears in that doesn’t require a script, so a chick who can’t keep a man for longer than a Geico commercial dispensing advice to women everywhere is sure to be a ratings bonanza.