Gerard Butler Is Sexing Jessica Simpson

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Tony Romo and Jessica Simpson have reportedly started talking again, but it’s apparently not going according to plan, because Jessica Simpson had her publicist plant a story in the media that she was on a date with Gerard Butler. Page Six reports:

Jessica Simpson and Gerard Butler had a date at Soho House Tuesday night, with friends including her hair stylist pal, Ken Paves, as chaperones. “They were at a table with friends, but Jessica and Gerard, who sat next to each other, seemed to only be interested in each other and chatted for hours,” a spy told Page Six. “They were laughing and flirting and eventually left together, along with Ken.” Publicists for both didn’t return calls.

Gerard Butler has gone on record saying that “I have been in relationships with women. And men. That doesn’t make me gay. That doesn’t make me straight.”, so what better person to keep the sexual ambiguous party going than Jessica Simpson? Her face looks like a jack-o-lantern and if it wasn’t for the fact that she had a “D” in bra size, she’d be telling me about the Aussie Autumn Adventures at Outback. Just $9.95 each!!

God, somebody get this retard a helmet: