Lindsay Is On Top Of The World

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Lindsay Lohan went to Paris last week to unveil her new fashion line, as as expected, everybody hated it. Guess what she did next? You’ll never believe it! Star reports:

The once-promising actress collapsed during a week-long party, as her vodka, cocaine and prescription pills habits caught up with her. Now as Star reports in its Oct. 26 issue — on newsstands now — her few remaining friends fear it is too late to save her. “She’s a wreck, a mess, a disaster,” one tells Star. “She an obituary waiting to happen.” Despite three trips to rehab and two DUI arrests, all before her 23rd birthday, Linds cannot stop herself from drowning her sorrows. Even the night before her big runway debut with her Emanuel Ungaro clothing line she was up till dawn partying. And once the scathing reviews were in for her line, things got worse. “She was crushed,” says one insider who saw her at a bash thrown by photographer Mario Testino. “Her eyes were red and puffy, and at one point she started shouting and tearing up.” Soon after, Lindsay collapsed on a couch and passed out. “Her friends had to get her out of there before things got any worse.”…One of Lindsay’s friends adds, “She’s definitely hit rock bottom. The next level is six feet under.”

I’m not a big advocate of suicide, but if Lindsay Lohan would blow her brains out this could stop being so embarrassing. She’s 23 but looks like she’s collecting Marlboro Miles for a duffel bag to keep her coke in and she couldn’t get a job in Hollywood right now dressing up like a gorilla and holding up a sign about a bonanza of savings and 0% financing in front of a used car dealership. Just go away already. If she somehow found a magic amulet to get into a meeting with a producer, at best, she’d be in a movie with 300 guys in a line behind her and the word “prolapsed” in the IMDB description.