Russell Brand Is In Love With These

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Russell Brand and Katy Perry have been “secretly” dating since the MTV Movie Awards, and Brand has already said he is in love. Was Katy’s completely manufactured image that set his heart alight? Was it the meh injections in her face that caused cupid’s arrow to pierce his soul? Was it her overrated and generic music about pretend lesbianism and temperatures that caught his loving gaze? No, um, actually it was her rack.The Sun reports:

Amazingly the randy telly star, famed for dating a string of beautiful girls, could finally give up his womanising for dark-haired Katy, 24. Pals say he is besotted with the I Kissed A Girl singer, who is currently at Paris Fashion Week, and no longer has eyes for anyone else. Speaking exclusively to The Sun at his £2million home in Hampstead, North London, Russell said: “I think I’m in love.” But asked about his nights of passion with Katy, he said coyly: “I don’t think I should be drawn on that.” Russell and Katy’s relationship got off to a romantic start after they met at the MTV Video Music Awards last month. He sent her a love poem by email and she replied with a snapshot of her boobs.

Not to sound too modest, but I get pictures of boobs sent to me all the time. My spam filter deletes anything below a C, but the point I’m trying to make here ladies, is take pictures of your boobs and send them to us. I promise. It will work. It’s not a coincidence that after you got that top from Charlotte Russe that Bill from sales wanted to spend his lunch listening to you trying to interpret your cat’s dreams. But seriously, fuck your cat, he’s just waiting for you to stop talking so he may ask if it is an acceptable to time to titty fuck you.