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Jennifer Love Hewitt is on the cover of next month’s Shape magazine and um seriously, bitch? Right beside her in big letters it says: “My #1 Weight Loss Trick: Burn The Scale!” when in reality it should say “My #1 Weight Loss Trick: Burn The Negatives!” because if Shape really thinks I’ve huffed enough air freshener today to think whatever is attached to her head is actual parts of Jennifer Love Hewitt, maybe they should ask Kelly Clarkson how that worked out. That cover would look more realistic if her body was a grizzly bear wearing a vest and a chest panel like Darth Vader.

Just in case you were wondering, the pictures below were taken LAST MONTH: